All in Life
Rented space can be a good thing. It provides for flexibility and minimal commitment, allowing us to piggyback on someone else’s work to serve our ends. Rented space can be a good and useful thing - for the short term.
Longer than that, the problem that arises, is one of control. When you rent, by definition you don’t own. Sure, you might be able to paint the walls and move the furniture around a bit, but if you want to make structural changes, more often than not, you’re out of luck.
In today's episode, I recount a Facebook post from the actor Kevin Smith, and something he was told (handed, actually) when he was 19 years old.
It's a lesson that not everyone is always looking out for us, and ultimately, our path forward - our story - is down to us.
I talk a lot on this blog about ‘doing the work’. That is, in order to get to where we want to go, we need to put in the time and effort to get us there.
More often than not, this means A LOT of effort - long hours and plenty of personal sacrifices. The bigger the goals, the more that’s demanded of us. I stand by that.
And while everyone’s different, and each and every one of us have different levels of endurance, stamina and focus, sooner or later, there has to be some tempering.
Nature loads the gun, nurture pulls the trigger. Or genes load the gun, lifestyle pulls the trigger.
I believe this phrase (using “genes” and “lifestyle” instead of “nature” and “nurture”) was first used in a research paper about obesity, but it applies to so many aspects of our lives. It speaks to the complexity of life, of how we might be oriented and what we might be able to influence.
From a young age, we're programmed with the idea that we'll grow up to get a job and do our work. But we don't often consider what that means.
Why are we doing what we're doing? What are we trying to achieve? As I discuss in this episode, it has to be about more than the money - whose mission are we serving?
“It’s not fair.”
Each and every one of us can recount situations where things didn’t go our way, for reasons that, in our minds, were less than equitable.
Not getting that promotion when we had the experience and the achievements. Losing out on that business opportunity when we’d done what the client asked for. Not making that investment when we had the chance (Bitcoin, anyone?).
There’s a perception many of us have that what we need is more choice.
It’s a perception that has filtered its way into all aspects of our lives.
When we’re deciding which college to go to, we’ll stack the number we apply to, to give us more options. I personally applied to 8 schools when I was planning on Business School, even though a couple of them I had absolutely no intention of attending, even if I got in. Why did I do that?
We come up with all sorts of projects that we want to get done, goals we want to achieve, but we end up paralyzed by the thought of where and how to begin. We want to do it well and do it right, but in that process of deliberation, we end up doing nothing.
So, as I’ve talked about before, better to just start. But how? And where?
Years ago, I was developing a website when someone I worked with asked me what I was doing about SEO. As I explained my thoughts, it became clear that he was less interested (if at all) in the fundamentals of SEO (strong content) than he was in how we could best ‘game’ the system.
I suggested that tricking the Google algorithm wouldn’t be a great strategy, and certainly not one that could be considered long-lasting.
Tribalism is an idea with which I have something of a love/hate relationship.
I mean, it certainly has plenty of value, delivering significant benefits if you happen to be a member. You’re with like-minded individuals who all have the same professed goal. You share a specific set of values. You speak the same language.
Email has become a necessity in today's business environment - and it's brought us plenty of value and efficiency in both our personal and professional lives.
But email can sometimes also be used as a way to avoid real conversations, to sidestep issues or frankly, to not make the effort. In the long run, this has real consequences, as I discuss in today's episode.
Risk is a hard concept to really come to grips with.
I mean, we intuitively understand that everything we do comes with some measure of risk, which we accept as a normal part of everyday life. For example, crossing the street, driving a car, or getting on a flight entails risk, but we don’t generally give it too much (if any) thought.
I’ve always had this problem when it comes to the concept and practice of self-improvement. And that is, that I’m incredibly hard on myself as I’m in the process of achieving my goals.
What I mean by that is that once I’ve set a goal, then I presume myself to be not ‘fully complete’ until that goal has been achieved.
When we're communicating an idea or selling a product, we often think that if we just explain the benefits, people will buy.
When they don't, we lament that they just didn't get it. But maybe we're the ones who didn't get it - because it's not anyone's job to listen, it's our job to make them want to hear us, as I discuss in today's podcast.
We’re only 3 days into 2022 and you’ve probably already been inundated with all sorts of advice about your resolutions, what you should focus on in this year and how to get there.
I don’t want to repeat any of that, but what I can offer one simple piece of advice, especially for the resolution-weary.
Well, it’s the end of another year and, for many of us, it’s that time when we reflect on the year just past and, more importantly, what we’d like to achieve in the one coming up.
I’ve been doing exactly that - considering all of the different goals I’d like to achieve and assessing what it will take to achieve them. This analysis - while hopeful in its intent - also brings up the inevitable:
The thing about progress is that it isn’t always exciting.
It’s gradual, incremental and consistent in its progression. That doesn’t mean it’s constant, of course. There will be backs and forths, one step back every now and then, but the overall movement is forwards. Step by step, as the gains compound and we find ourselves closer to our goals.
I’ve been thinking about what “essential” in our lives truly means.
At the beginning of our lives, we need very little - a place to sleep, food to eat and little else. Everything else, we fill in with our imaginations. Late in our lives, it seems pretty similar.
It’s the stuff in-between that, I think, confuses us.
At first blush, it seems counterintuitive but achieving a Greater Good for a particular group requires a measure of selfishness amongst the members of that group.
But when you really think about it, there’s a sound logic to that idea.
