Loving (And Hating) Tribes

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

Tribalism is an idea with which I have something of a love/hate relationship. 

I mean, it certainly has plenty of value, delivering significant benefits if you happen to be a member. You’re with like-minded individuals who all have the same professed goal. You share a specific set of values. You speak the same language. 

I’ve talked about the value of forming or finding your own tribe, time and again on this blog. Because, tribes, in this way, are responsible for some of our greatest successes. 

Social and political changes happen when tribes come together to drive a particular movement forward. Economic progress happens when people galvanize together to form companies with a stated vision. 

That coming together of an otherwise disparate group of individuals can make a real difference - not just for the individuals within the tribe but for society and economies and countries at large.

But tribes can have this other characteristic that I find particularly annoying and potentially dangerous. They can become exclusionary, to a fault. Yes, I get that’s part of the point - that by bringing a like-minded group together, you’re automatically excluding others. And I’m OK with that - to an extent. I accept the fact that if I decide not to join a tribe, I will not get the engagement and benefits that come from being a member. 

But what I’m not OK with is the judgment that arises when you’re not part of “my” tribe. There’s a perception not only that “we are better than them” but also that “they are less than us”. That somehow, we are more deserving (of anything) than others. 

This, to me, is when tribes become toxic. We start to focus less on what brings us together and more on what drives us apart. We begin to lose any sense of the value of heterogeneity and start emphasizing why your approach doesn’t work. We stop believing/accepting that there is still common ground. 

This isn’t a political point, by the way (though it certainly applies there). It happens everywhere - from nationalism to religion to social communities to informal friend groups. 

It’s one thing when this happens when we’re kids and teenagers. At those ageas, our minds aren’t fully formed and few of us think holistically and logically. But when you’re an adult? 

Better we focus on the galvanizing power of tribes than their ability to divide.