Nature Loads The Gun...
Nature loads the gun, nurture pulls the trigger. Or genes load the gun, lifestyle pulls the trigger.
I believe this phrase (using “genes” and “lifestyle” instead of “nature” and “nurture”) was first used in a research paper about obesity, but it applies to so many aspects of our lives. It speaks to the complexity of life, of how we might be oriented and what we might be able to influence.
Many of us, though, tend to deal in absolutes. It’s nature versus nurture, one or the other, and this debate is constant. You’ll hear it everywhere. We debate how much we have control over everything - from our physical health to our mental well being - even to our mental disposition for certain professions and careers.
Where we fall along the spectrum tends to influence how much control we believe we have over our aspirations and our goals. Whether things just happen to us, or whether we have some say in the matter. In my mind, it’s a real problem when we only deal in absolutes.
I’m just destined to be that way. I’m not a salesperson. Oh, she’s a natural entrepreneur.
My problem with this point of view is that I don’t believe them to be true. What’s more, I don’t believe anyone should even want them to be true.
The successes we see talked about in the media - the born leaders, the great athletes, the massive successes in any field - those stories tend to highlight how natural their successes were.
But they gloss over the failures along the way, or all the hard work and sacrifices it entailed, or the sheer commitment and discipline exerted to get them to where they wanted to go. (Not to mention the self doubt and insecurities that racked them day after day as they worked their craft to get them to where they wanted. Hardly someone who knew they’d get there!)
Life is far more nuanced. Nature loads the gun, nurture pulls the trigger - in terms of both the good and the bad.
We’re all born with certain traits, predispositions, and genetic strengths. But, to use the cliche, it’s what we do with them that matters.
It’s how we react to the environment around us, who we surround ourselves with, the interpretations and judgments we make along the way, the stories we tell ourselves and the lessons we ultimately teach ourselves. This is what matters.
Of course, this calls for a good measure of self-awareness. It calls for an underlying sense of positivity, a belief in ourselves. It requires an acceptance that we test and learn (and that it simply won’t/doesn’t come to us naturally all the time). Most of all, it demands that we keep doing the work, in belief of our ability to get to where we want to go. Nature loads the gun, nurture pulls the trigger.
And yet the absolutists persist. Maybe we’re one of them.
If that’s what you do, it’s worth asking why you deal in these absolutes - to what end? Is it a way to excuse ourselves from doing the hard work to get what we want? Is it a mechanism to protect ourselves from having to deal with difficulties and failures?
Years ago, someone said to me, “you know, we’re not the kind of people who can plan things”, which always struck me as defeatist. It was an overt act of surrender.
But I realized why this person said that. It was for all of the reasons I cited above - it was indeed a defense mechanism. If I don’t try, I won’t get hurt. Is this what you truly want to believe?
I prefer the alternative: keep believing, keep trying, keep learning, keep going.
