There Are No Grown-Ups
Photo by JC Gellidon on Unsplash
Near the end of Crypto.com’s SuperBowl commercial earlier this year, in which Lebron James goes back in time to talk to his 17 year old self, the younger Lebron asks his future self what’s most on his mind:
“Is the hype too much? Am I ready?”
He’s looking for reassurance, of course, some certainty that the choices he’s about to make, the risks he’s about to take, are the right ones. Valid concerns for a 17 year old. But the older James, who knows the answers, is clear in his response:
“I can’t tell you everything, but if you want to make history, you gotta call your own shots.”
He’s telling his younger self not what he wants to know, but what he needs to hear. Teaching him to fish, proverbially speaking, versus feeding him (in the moment).
Of course, we’ve all asked ourselves the same questions (or versions thereof) at one time or another (and maybe we still are).
Should I take that job? Should I start that business? Should I make that choice?
“Am I ready?”
Because we all want reassurance, some sort of expert confirmation that we’re doing the right thing, that nothing will go wrong. So, in place of our future selves, we ask those around us for advice, for comfort, in the hopes that they’ll help us take the risk out of our decisions.
But that really isn’t possible, is it?
No one has the answers, even if they’ve “done it before”. The reasoning, the rationale and the choice has to, ultimately, be ours. The “grown-ups” we look to don’t necessarily know any better than us, because they’re mired in their own facts and biases and baggage. What might be right for them, won’t make it right for us.
At the end of the day, there are no “grown-ups”, not in any absolute sense. We’re all just trying to figure things out for ourselves as we go along.
Which doesn’t mean, don’t ask for advice. By all means, ask for it. Seek the counsel of those who’ve been there. Learn from their choices and their mistakes. But treat their input as one element of your decision criteria.
Do your own homework. Understand who you are and what motivates you. Be clear about what you want.
Above all, do your own thinking. Trust your own judgment. Trust yourself.
Call your own shots.
