Who Will You Ask?

Photo by Lukas Denier on Unsplash

Getting advice is important. 

From a young age, we’re taught (or at least should be) that it’s OK to ask for help, that we don’t have to figure out everything on our own, and that there are others who’ve tread our path before. So it’s not a weakness to reach out and ask for guidance. It is, in fact, a strength. I wholeheartedly agree with that.

At the same time, not all advice is equal and it’s well worth remembering a few basic things.

First, we shouldn’t confuse access and convenience with insight. 

Just because we have folks around us ready and willing to offer us advice doesn’t mean their advice is going to be meaningful or useful. For example, asking your family of business professionals if you should become a musician, or asking your (non-entrepreneur) friends if you should start a business. They probably won’t be able to provide the most objective advice, though their advice certainly is likely to be practical. 

But practical and good are not the same thing. It’s important to note one’s motivations, life experiences, past personal choices and personal intent in assessing the quality of their counsel. 

Second, we shouldn’t assume expertise in one area translates into expertise in another.

Recently, I was listening to a podcast interview with a famous investor where the host was trying to break down this individual’s strategy for buying companies. In the middle of the discussion, the interviewer began asking the investor about his advice for parenting. 

Now, I’m not suggesting that the investor isn’t a good parent nor am I suggesting that he wouldn’t have useful advice to offer on the topic, but it just struck me that the question came out of nowhere and perhaps was driven more by the interviewer’s awe of this famous individual than any other reason. 

I’ve seen this elsewhere as well - we tend to think folks who have experienced success in one domain will be able to tangibly help in another. That’s not necessarily a given. A successful musician cannot necessarily offer strong business advice. A successful management consultant who works with global corporations isn’t necessarily the right person to ask about the entrepreneurial path. They might be able to help, but we shouldn’t presume it.  

Finally, we don’t have to take the advice that’s being offered. 

I know this can be hard, especially when the advice-giver is a parent, or a close friend or a seasoned mentor with the best of intentions. But at the end of the day, our choices are our own. Only we can assess fit-for-purpose. Only we can assess our own inner drive and desires. Only we know our goals and purpose. In addition, whatever we decide, we will be responsible - that is, we will own our outcomes, whether we like it or not. 

So the choice we make shouldn’t be colored by what someone else wants, by whatever supposed authority the advice giver possesses, or what seems practical and workable. We need to decide what we want and what we are willing (or not willing) to do. 

Look, the fact is, everyone is ready to provide advice. That’s a good thing and can be helpful. But we need to decide the relevance, value and implications of that advice.