Making or Breaking Partnerships

Image by Daniel Nebreda from Pixabay 

The word “partnership” is used quite liberally these days, across just about all aspects of our lives - from the personal to the professional, whether we’re talking about our relationships, about our work colleagues or our suppliers and customers. 

But what do we really mean, in any of these contexts, when we use that term? 

I mean, we’re almost always sincere when we say it, and most of us actually believe that’s what these specific relationships are. But do we really mean it? Are we willing to do what’s needed when the ‘partnership’ calls for it? 

Not just the physical, tactical, mechanical aspects of the partnership - taking care of chores or buying gifts and nice things for your partner at home; taking a client out to dinner or giving away a freebie every now and then to a client at work. Those are nice and necessary.

But what about the emotional and difficult and hard things? What about those things that expose us, that ask us to think harder about what we are willing to give of ourselves, what we are willing to understand and accept from others? The things that truly define whether this relationship is actually a partnership?

In other words, how vulnerable are we willing to be?

I think if we speak of it in this context, then far fewer of us would be willing to use the word ‘partnership’ to describe the relationship - though perhaps more of us would in the personal context versus a professional one (perhaps even then, maybe not as much?).

Are we really partners? Or are we simply in mutually beneficial relationship so long as the hard questions don’t get asked?

This is hard, and I’m not suggesting the answers are easy ones. Particularly in a work context, it’s hard to open up to customers and tell them where your issues are, for fear of tangible repercussions - will the customer understand? Will they work with me until the problems are resolved? Or will they dump me the first chance they get? 

The same goes for working partnerships among colleagues. I remember speaking with an individual who said he never let his partner close to his parts of their business and simply did what he wanted. This clearly was a partnership in name only, because when the going got tough, that partnership ended. 

(By the way, it should go without saying that partnerships are two way streets - both parties need to show commitment.) 

The fact is, that the hardest thing about true partnerships is also the most important. Vulnerability is the foundational element. A willingness and desire to be open and honest and ready to expose concerns and shortcomings and issues. Not simply when you have to, but when it’s right to.

I get that this isn’t easy - as I said, it’s the hardest thing. I get that this doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time and effort to build and grow and maintain. And there are some folks who aren’t in the headspace to be able to build true partnerships - across many aspects of their lives - for understandable reasons (which doesn’t make it right, just understandable). 

But it seems to me that that’s the true litmus test of a real partnership.

How vulnerable are you willing to be?