We're Less Alone Than We Think

Photo by Pawel Janiak on Unsplash

I think it’s ingrained in us, this desire to get things done by ourselves. In many ways, it’s a compulsion, and the bigger, more complex the issue, the stronger the desire to go it alone. 

It might be an issue of strategy or one of people; a difficult relationship or a complex initiative. When we’re in its ‘throes’, we absorb ourselves in, well, ourselves. 

We think the situation is unique to us, that no one else can possibly understand what we’re going through and facing. I mean, no one else could possibly have this problem - not the way and to the extent it’s impacting me? And this isn’t meant to sound like self-pity, or a judgement of this feeling. Many (of us) genuinely believe this.

And it’s true regardless of where we sit in the organization. 

Leaders feel they can’t speak with or confide in anyone else (heavy is the head that wears the crown) because they need to be seen to have all of the answers. Those below them feel they need to do the same because they’re jostling for position, hoping to one day climb higher up the food chain. And those at more junior levels have their own insecurities, as they try and prove they know their stuff, and show that they do indeed ‘belong’.

Entrepreneurs grapple with these issues just as much if not more so. They started the business and are expected to have all of the answers - even though the truth is they don’t. They’re learning as they go along, which is kind of the basis of being an entrepreneur - kind of why they took the job in the first place. Many also simply won’t go home and vent to their families, because, well, this whole thing was their idea and they don’t want them to worry. So they struggle, on their own. (Yes, I’m possibly guilty as charged.)

The truth is, though, that we’re all wrong. 

We’re not that unique and we’re not the only ones to have dealt with these problems. In fact, many others have had and dealt with these problems. These are almost always well trodden paths. Though you wouldn't think it.  

The truth is, that we’re less alone than we think. 

Not only are there others who’ve been through this, they’re ready and able and willing to help. Those who have the battle scars and the personal stories from those battles, who empathize, and are willing to be of help. 

They could be peers within the company, senior folks who we can open up to, peers within our industry, or those across our social networks (which in this way is a tremendous value). They could literally be anywhere - the key is that they are there.

There’s just three things we need to know.

First, acknowledge that we’re less alone than we think. Second, we need to look for them. And third, we just need to ask.