Transitions Are Where The Work Is Done
Photo by Lance Asper on Unsplash
When we’ve done things a specific way, acted in a particular manner or simply held a specific point of view for any period of time, we tend to get comfortable. We decide that this is how things work for us, and, accordingly, develop our world view (and accompanying behaviors) around these models. They might be models we’ve been taught or ones we’ve developed for ourselves, based on our own experiences. But they become ours, whether we think they’re good for us or not (and even when we know they’re not).
When we realize that the models aren’t right, though, when we finally decide to (or are forced to) change, we realize we need to alter the way we think and behave. We need to swing the pendulum, from one side to the other.
At first, this change is uncomfortable. We’re trying on something new, and almost always, it isn’t as comfortable as what we had on before. And those periods of transition are tough because they challenge us. They force us to confront ourselves and the way we used to be. They are the make or break moments.
They’re also easy to run away from. There’s always the option to retreat back into our old ways and get comfortable again, even when we know that’s not the right thing to do. Oh so tempting. Because the transitions are the parts that make us the most uncomfortable.
The solution, of course, is exactly what you might expect.
We need to lean into it. We need to experience the discomfort and understand why we’re feeling it. We need to absorb it and learn from it. We need to use it to challenge our old assumptions, to accept the new ones (and what they tell us about ourselves) and analyze how they force us to reconstruct our mental models. We’re essentially becoming someone else, and many times that calls for us to break from, let go of old ideas, even when they once gave us a quantum of solace (for better or for worse).
That’s hard work. Real change usually is. Because we’ve had it our way for so long, and now we need to get used to the other way.
It’s best not to shirk that responsibility, best to take it head on and perhaps even revel in the discomfort. Because in those transitions is where the real growth is happening.
