All in Personal Codes
“I remember perfectly well what life was like before (having my own kids). Well enough to miss some things a lot, like the ability to take off for some other country at a moment's notice. That was so great. Why did I never do that?
See what I did there? The fact is, most of the freedom I had before kids, I never used. I paid for it in loneliness, but I never used it.” - Paul Graham
(SPOILER ALERT: While I’m not specifically giving anything away in this post, I do reference a key quote from the movie “Ad Astra”. If you haven’t seen the movie and plan to, you might want to skip this post until then.)
Long flights are pretty much the only place I catch up on my movies, and my recent international trip was no exception, when I caught up on the Brad Pitt film, Ad Astra. (Reviews are mixed but I found it to be exceptional.)
Episode 16 of the podcast is now available and this episode continues this month's conversation around aspirations, a subject that's not only topical for this time of year but also central to our ability to achieve and become who we want to be.
There’s a perennial debate about the value of generalists versus specialists, that is, are we better off as generalists or should we all work to become specialists. We all tend to have a particular view as to which one is actually better, certainly from a career development perspective. And usually our point of view is encapsulated in a popular figure of speech - or at least the portion(s) of it that we quote, to serve our case.
If we believe in the generalist approach, we like to use the term “Jack of all trades”, as in “She’s so versatile, she’s a Jack of all trades”.
I’m trying to get my head around the psyche of successful people when they’re pursuing a specific, ambitious goal. Not specifically about the actual goal that is set, or the process of going after that goal (the breaking up of it into manageable chunks, the diligence to work on one bit at a time, the refinement and redirection as you learn from each specific execution, etc.). Rather, the mindset that these folks have as they work to get what they want.
Episode 15 of the podcast is now available and this episode continues this month's discussion around Aspirations, a subject that’s not only topical at this time of year but also one that raises many challenges about what we want and what we need to do to get it..
As it’s the start of a new year (and for some, a new decade, which it isn’t but let’s just go with it), there’s no shortage of articles, online or otherwise, about making a fresh start, doing the things you always wanted to do and becoming who you want to actually be. I’m 100% onboard with all of those goals and if that’s what your plan is for 2020, then more power to you.
That said, there is a foundational requirement on this path to self-actualization that I think gets missed, and that is, that in all the positive, rah-rah emphasis of doing what we want, we miss the basic stock-taking that …
New years are always, conceptually at least, a time for new beginnings. A time to reboot and do all those things we didn’t get done last year (or the year before), that we’ve been meaning to do for so long and finally become who it is we really want to be.
As exciting as that prospect is, it also tends to come with no small amount of historical baggage: the stop-starts of prior years, the past attempts that didn’t last beyond the month, the changing personal circumstances that make specific choices harder than they would otherwise be.
Episode 14 of the podcast is now available and this episode kicks off this month's focus - fittingly, as we kick off 2020 - on The topic of "Aspirations”, or what is it that we want, what these wants involve and what tradeoffs we need to be ready to make to get what we want.
“If you wish to improve, be content to appear clueless or stupid in extraneous matters." — Epictetus
I’ve been turning this quote over in my head for a long while now, and there’s something about it that resonates incredibly strongly with me.
The trouble is, I can’t quite figure out what.
Is it suggesting that if we are focused on becoming expert in a particular area, we mustn’t be afraid of appearing stupid or unknowledgeable i.e. that we’ve figured everything out already…
Episode 13 of the podcast is now available and today’s podcast wraps up this month’s focus on communications. In this episode, I talk about the secret to great communications - not saying anything.
The thing about giving advice is that it’s super easy to do at a distance. You can look at the options in a cold and calculated fashion, weigh up the pros and cons, and make definite judgements about the right path forward.
We see this firsthand in any education forum - specifically, business schools like those I studied at - where the case method is utilized. You study a specific situation, whether it’s related to people, strategy, operations, etc. You analyze the variables based on the information available. And then you make a logical, rational decision on what it takes to solve the specific problem at hand. Easy stuff.
In my last post, I included an excerpt from a post by David Whyte that spoke to how enduring friendships are based on a measure of forgiveness and an acceptance of our own imperfections.
That same post also spoke to how our friendships act as a window into our lives:
“The dynamic of friendship is almost always underestimated as a constant force in human life: a diminishing circle of friends is the first terrible diagnostic of a life in deep trouble:
Episode 11 of the podcast is now available and continues our exploration of the art of Communication, a subject that's integral to our ability to succeed in just about anything we do. In this episode, I share the age old story of The Curate's Egg and what it tells us about being upfront in our communications.
I’ve been thinking about the idea of relationships and, in particular, what makes a particular relationship enduring versus one that’s not. It’s a subject that’s been on my mind a lot lately as I’ve considered my own relationships over the years - both close and otherwise - to better understand what is it that has made some of them stick and others not. In particular, what makes for a “good friend”?
It’s amazing to me that the one subject that has had the most influence on our ability to get anything done in business (and, frankly, personal) life is also the one that is given the least attention (relatively) at Business School: working with people.
Don’t get me wrong - it’s not as if there isn’t any acknowledgement that it’s critical (there is) or that Professors don’t speak to its importance (they do).
Episode 10 of the podcast is now available and this episode kicks off this month's focus on the art of Communication, a subject that's integral to our ability to succeed in just about anything we do.
Conversations about great company cultures are almost always accompanied by talk of nice offices with modern conveniences, bring-your-pet-to-work days, free food and more. In fact, read about the latest hot startup, and modern media (conventional or otherwise) will be abuzz with stories about the lengths these companies are going to for their employees (from no dress code to unlimited vacations to relaxation pods).
It’s not surprising then that these ideas become comingled: that amazing work culture goes hand in hand with these kinds of tangible amenities.
The other day, I stumbled across a Reddit discussion where someone asked the question: “Everyone sees the world in a different way; so when someone dies, it is - in a way - the death of an entire world. So, Reddit…what unique world will die with you?”
As with all things reddit, there were a myriad of responses, but one of them was from a person who’d created an imaginary world - 4 books worth of content and characters in his/her notebooks and sketchbooks - and was working on getting it out, commenting:
Episode 7 of the podcast is out now, and in this episode, I close out this month's focus on "Story" and its role in our lives. I talk about how we use stories to define who we are and what we do and how we can begin tell ourselves better stories to change who we are.
