What’s Actually Within Our Control?

Photo by Jorgen Hendriksen on Unsplash

I don’t know how much is actually within our control. 

I know many of us like to think everything is, even as there are others who think nothing is, that we’re all simply subjects (victims?) of fate. 

If I had to choose, I’d put myself more in the former camp - that we can indeed make of ourselves and our situations what we will. 

But I’m also prone to overstating (to myself) how much is actually within my control. And, as a result, I’ll get worked up about things I can do (quite literally) nothing about - or, at least, where there’s a limit to my influence. 

Whether a client will award a specific piece of work to me. Whether my children will decide to do what I think is ‘right’. Whether my football team will qualify for some prize or the other. 

That last example aside, there are plenty of things I can do to tilt the odds in my direction. Some of those things are near term actions while others are activities that I should have been doing to lay the groundwork for some time. Regardless, I know I have some influence over the outcomes - at least by my own actions. 

But even if I’ve done all of those things correctly, there’s still the real possibility that those decisions will not be made in a way that I believe are correct. 

But I’ll worry anyway. I’ll get worked up. It will obsess my thinking and stress me out. When, really, it shouldn’t, because there’s only so much I can do. What will happen will happen and then I’ll have to learn to live with the outcome. 

I don’t think I’m saying anything surprising and I don’t think I’m alone either. We all tend to overstate how much control we have -  I get it. After all, the stakes are high. 

But, for our own sakes, it’s worth thinking through where the line is for us. 

Anything within the line, go all out - do everything within your power to get the outcome you want. Have no regrets. 

But beyond that line? Don’t worry about it.