Being In The Moment
I was in the car with my family the other day and we were heading to lunch. We were having a conversation, and in the midst of it, we noticed that my daughter’s answers were short, to the point, not really like her normal, jovial self.
My son actually noticed it first, and he asked her what was wrong. She answered that she just had a lot on her mind - Junior year of High School, AP exams, Finals, college applications, etc. Definitely a lot for a 17 year old to take on. My son (who’s a rising Senior in college and has been through this himself) listened and calmly told her he understood. He also suggested that, for now, since we’d all agreed to go to lunch together, that she focus on that, keep her mind in the present, and enjoy the time together.
And, to her credit, she did. She was quiet for a bit longer, then shifted her mindset and joined in the conversation and was back to her normal self for the rest of our lunch out, and indeed, even when we got back home, and she had work to get done. In other words, she decided to be in the moment.
There’s a lesson there for all of us, from a teenager, and not least of it, for me. I will admit that being in the moment hasn’t been a strong suit of mine.
The demands and stresses of, well, a lot of things, tend to divert my focus from the here and now. For example, I often find myself dwelling on issues at work when I should be focused on family time. I should be engaged in the conversation, but instead, mentally, I’m elsewhere. That’s a fault and a problem. I’m definitely better than I used to be, but still not as good as I should be. A work in progress.
The point, as I was reminded by my kids, is that we need to make the effort. Much like anything we take on, we won’t be perfect from the start. Our mind will wander. We will end up shifting our focus back to what we consider to be more urgent matters.
But, like in meditation, the point is that we notice it, don’t judge it, and try and shift our focus back to the present. Sorry that’s not a silver bullet, but it’s the only way I know of.
Always a work in progress.
