Learning To Be A Child (AKA The Second Half Of Our Lives)

I think we spend so much of the “post-teen” part of our lives trying to be accepted, to fit in and be seen as a grown up, that we consciously decide to “put away childish things”. We see this as an essential act so that we’re regarded as an adult and hence accepted as a serious contributor to whatever work or social contract we’re engaged in. (In fact, most of us do so and don’t even give it a second thought.)

But at some point, many of us realize that, in doing so, we’ve lost some element of what made that act of engagement so special in the first place. A sense of adventure. A sense of fun. A sense of personal expression. Take your pick.

What it is, at its foundation, is that we’ve lost that sense of “abandon” that’s so necessary for personal fulfillment. A sense that we’re trying new things, following our instincts, taking risks, versus treading the same old ground, making decisions that are safe, doing things because ‘that’s what adults do’. 

So, we try to remember (relearn) and practice what it means to be a child again, but this time in the context of our responsibilities as an adult. 

And that’s a journey, one that isn’t as simple as it sounds. To quote Picasso, we come to the realization that “the first half of life is learning to be an adult, the second half is learning to be a child.”

So, we try and make better choices. We decide what’s important, what we value and what we want to focus on. We start caring less about others, about acceptance at all costs. We do what we want, dress how we want, act how we want. 

There are those who stay with us for that ride. But there will certainly be plenty of folks who won’t. They won’t recognize who they’re seeing, how we’re behaving. To them, it’s just plain wrong, what we’re doing, irresponsible even. That’s hard to take, especially if these are people we’ve respected and worked alongside for years.

But that’s also how it is, how it should be. We need to decide what’s important to us and what we need. Because, part of learning to be an adult is to understand that we can and should make choices for ourselves - and we don’t need everyone to accept those decisions. 

In fact, that’s par for the course. That, in many senses, is what it means to be an adult. C.S Lewis perhaps paraphrased it best when he said, “When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”

Worth remembering for those of us who are embarking on Picasso’s ‘second half’ of life.