Embracing Your Inner Bono

Photo by Sebastian Ervi on Unsplash

When I was 22, I decided to get my ear pierced. 

I was a Business undergraduate working in Marketing & Sales, but with a wannabe musician buried deep inside who was trying to find a way to express his “Inner Bono”. And the form of that expression at that age was, ultimately, to get an earring. And so I did - a diamond stud that I wore all the time and never thought twice about.

Until I was about to head to the States to go to Business School. 

At which point, I thought - hmmm, I’m about to go get an MBA, I’ll be meeting and interacting with seasoned professionals, I’ll be interviewing for executive roles, so perhaps wearing an earring might be a bad idea. I’ll stand out. I won’t fit in. And, really, don’t we all just want to fit in? 

So before my flight, I begrudgingly took the earring off and put it away. I flew to the US, settled into B-school life and classes kicked off. That first week, my third or fourth class was Finance 101, and I filed into class, along with my classmates, and waited for the professor to come in. And come in he did, right on time, resplendent in jeans, a polo shirt and (you know what’s coming) - a diamond earring!

Well, yes, of course, that’s what would happen...and, you know what? No one batted an eyelid, no one made a comment, no said a thing. Because there was nothing to say. 

But, of course, I did notice it. I did comment on it - to myself. I was (metaphorically) kicking myself. In my desire to fit in, I had made a decision that was driven more by the Other (or at least my perception of the Other) than by me. I had taken greater note of style than of substance. The professor was all about the substance. He was who he was and he was expressing himself as he wanted. He knew his stuff and that’s all that mattered. So he did what he wanted.

In practical terms, I was kicking myself because I wasn’t wearing the earring. In philosophical terms, though, it wasn’t about the earring at all. The earring itself, in the grand scheme of things, didn’t really matter to me all that much. (It might have bruised my inner musician’s ego a little bit, but he definitely could have lived with himself afterwards.) 

What mattered was the basis for my choice - why I made the choice, what my rationale for it was. I did it for style than for substance. 

And it doesn’t matter what you or I think about someone who wears an earring or gets a tattoo or wears bowties or anything else we consider to be left (or right) of center. Because, at the end of the day, there is no such thing as an absolute right or wrong choice for most things in life. There are only the right ones for us. And those choices are made on the basis of personal context, goals, aspirations, values and beliefs. And, by the way, that’s not to suggest that that decision process is as complex as it sounds. Most of the time, we know what’s right and what isn’t. Our gut usually tells us as much. 

So the point is, at least for me, that we shouldn’t be afraid to listen to our gut. We shouldn’t be governed by the other, to do what we think. And if that means we stand out, then we stand out. Because, sometimes, you just need to embrace your Inner Bono.