Removing Negativity From Our Orbit
Photo by Nikolay Tarashchenko on Unsplash
Have you ever removed a connection on LinkedIn?
I did recently, for the first time ever. This was someone I’ve known for a while, with plenty of shared experience and common connections. The reason I did it was because of his relentless negativity. There wasn’t a single post he made that was positive. Nothing that was uplifting. Instead, he’d ridicule, make fun and generally denigrate others (including his own employer).
It wasn’t as if he targeted a certain type of commentary. His ire was targeted at pretty much anything - comments about positive work cultures, commentary around public events, discussion of socioeconomic developments. (He was very much an equal opportunity antagonist!) So, I decided the other day that I’d had enough, and that my social feed, my network and therefore, by extension, my life, would be materially better off without this individual in it.
As I said, this is the first time I’ve done that. I’m pretty careful whose invitation I accept. We have to know each other or have had common experiences of some sort or a defined set of common interests. And once they’re in, they’re in - LinkedIn allows us to stay in touch, keep track of how things are progressing for each other, and offer (and ask for) help as and when needed.
This ‘friendship’, though, comes with an unwritten rule - that the interaction will be positive or at the very least, non-detrimental. No negative intent.
This doesn’t mean you can’t have the occasional (or even somewhat regular) rant. It doesn’t mean you can’t vent. We’re human after all, so it’s important to speak our mind. But that discussion needs to be constructive. It should move the ball forward. Provoke but with well meaning intent. It’s goal shouldn’t be to show up someone else, put them down or make them look small. I don’t care who it’s aimed at. (None of them were aimed at me, by the way.)
Acting in this way sends out a negative energy and consistent exposure to this type of behavior ultimately weighs on us, brings us down. It tired me to see it and it didn’t move the discussion or me forward, in any way. So, I nixed it.
Sure, I could have simply unfollowed him i.e. kept him in my network but simply removed his posts from my feed. Problem solved.
Really? If I did that, I’d simply be doing so for the prospect of some future gain (most likely economic) via that relationship. Was that genuine? Or was that being a cynic? Everyone makes their own call here, but that approach didn’t sit well with me.
What would you have done?
