The Contradictions In Ourselves

In last Friday’s post, I talked about the need to accept the duality in those around us, from those we live and work with on a daily basis to those we see periodically (for example, friends and relatives during the holidays). 

The point was that, despite those dualities, we’re each bound by more than what separates us and that is essential to remember so that we understand and accept each other as we are. 

Interestingly enough, that duality, or call it the inherent contradictions we see in others, is as evident within ourselves. And we struggle with those contradictions as much as we struggle with them in others. 

The fact is, we can be both funny and serious. We can be thoughtful and frivolous. We can be unhappy with aspects of ourselves yet still love who we are as a person. 

That idea - that ability to hold two competing perspectives in harmony is a challenging one for many of us. We hold ourselves to what we like to believe is a higher standard. That unless we are fully perfect in a specific regard, we cannot be (should not be) happy. 

The problem with that , though, is that we never are (and never will be) perfect. We are, by definition, always a work in progress. So it’s important to accept ourselves exactly as we are. 

Sure, we may have things to improve and things we need to work on, but we cannot put our self respect and our self esteem on hold until that is ‘done’. 

Instead, we need to learn to accept our contradictions, and frankly, revel in them. As Bono has said, we are not compelled to resolve every contradictory impulse. In fact, he cherishes it: “The right to be irresponsible and stupid is something I hold very dear.” 

And what’s more contradictory than a rockstar activist who saves people one day and dances on stage for thousands on another?

Perhaps we all need to learn to live with and enjoy our contradictions.