Why Do We Want It In The First Place?

Photo by Farhad Ibrahimzade on Unsplash

We have these conversations with kids every now and then. 

When they decide they want something, they’ll determine all the different benefits of having it. Solid benefits that are passionately communicated.

But what isn’t so well reasoned out is whether they need the thing in the first place. They just know they want it because their best friend has one, or all the kids at school are talking about it.

That’s not surprising, of course - they’re kids, after all. Their ability to reason isn’t yet well developed and social pressure is a real thing (especially now social media being as ubiquitous as it is).

Thing is, though, that this lack of diligent, objective reasoning tends to carry through into our adult lives as well. It’s not just a ‘kids’ thing.

Whether we’re angling for a specific type of job, or deciding to make a specific type of career move, we’re often overly influenced by social considerations. The prestige factor, status benefits and, of course, economics.

Overwhelming and intoxicating - to the extent that they overwhelm or inhibit our ability to truly assess whether that change is, in fact, right for us. 

So, we don’t. We don’t step back and think it through. We look for all the reasons that justify our decision and allow us to have those benefits. We don’t take the time to think through whether, in the broader context, we truly want this for the ‘right’ reasons. 

And then we wonder why we’re not happy when we get there.

Granted, it’s a hard thing to do. Status benefits are alluring, an immediate sugar rush.

But it might just be worth the extra effort to ask: why do we (really) want this in the first place?