Do You Compete?
Photo by Kyle Bushnell on Unsplash
When I was in my teens and learning to play the guitar, there was a guy I knew who had been playing for a few years and was really quite good. He knew how to play all the cool songs I wanted to learn to play, knew all the cool riffs and could play by ear. But he wasn’t interested in sharing any of his knowledge.
I specifically remember him playing Stairway To Heaven, a song I was trying to learn. And as he played, I watched carefully as he went through the chord changes - but as soon he noticed me doing so, he’d turn around so I couldn’t see what he was playing. I was surprised, then irritated and then ultimately just laughed it off. That's just how some people are, how he was, I figured. I have to say, though, that it did make me wary of what I could expect of him.
But clearly not everyone is like that.
Also back in the 80s, Steve Vai was gaining real fame in guitar circles, not only as Frank Zappa’s guitarist but then also as David Lee Roth’s guitar player when Roth left Van Halen to embark on his solo career.
And in just about every interview Vai gave at the time, he’d rave about his guitar teacher, who he said was incredible and someone everyone needed to hear. He said this teacher taught him without condition or restraint, encouraged him and advised him to be better, which led Vai to where he was today.
That guitar teacher was a guy named Joe Satriani, who, if you have even a passing knowledge of guitar history, released Surfing With The Alien in 1987, considered to be one of the greatest guitar albums of all time. Satriani has since gone on to build a fantastic career inspiring millions all over the world to pick up the instrument.
The thing these two stories tell me is that we have a choice when it comes to this idea of personal competition.
We can either hide information, actively (or passively) filtering what we share, safe in the idea that our knowledge is our power and that imparting any of that knowledge is going to make us personally worse off, stunting our prospects for happiness and riches. It’s a view that holds that life is a zero sum game, that knowledge is limited and collaboration is problematic. It isn’t enough that I win; you must also suffer.
On the other hand, we can go the other way - actively helping those around us get better, with the idea that learning and knowledge is infinite and that our collective improvement helps us all. That it doesn’t hurt us to help others and that our success doesn’t depend on keeping others at bay, or worse, actively putting them down. There’s enough here for all of us, a rising tide floats all boats, etc.
This choice shows up in all facets of our lives, from our workplaces to our friendships to our families.
And the choice we actually make is a signal.
It tells others what they can expect of us, how they should behave with us and ultimately how they should treat us.
Because, at its core, it says everything about who we are as human beings.
