Patterns Matter
Photo by Anders Jildén on Unsplash
Patterns matter. They tell you a lot about people.
Consistent patterns of behavior tell you whether someone is good, whether they’re credible, whether they’re dedicated, etc. That’s just a fact.
Sure, everyone can (and will) have bad days. Days where things just aren’t going the way they’d like, when they feel as if they’re at the end of their tether. In those instances, we’ll say and do things that don’t represent who we are. That’s also a fact, and it happens to the best of us.
But how we behave over a material period of time is very clearly reflective of who we are as people, as partners, as colleagues.
And it’s important to use that evidence to figure out who we should be spending our time with, personally and professionally. How do they behave? What do they do? What do they say about others? (Of course, we can - should - replace “they” with “I” and ask ourselves the very same questions.)
Salesforce’s Chief Digital Evangelist, Vala Afshar, had a few suggestions in this regard. He said we should distance ourselves from people who:
Speak poorly about others
Have problems for every solution
Enjoy complaining
Always feel entitled
Blame others for losing
Take more than give
Make you feel bad about yourself
Cheat or lie
Bully or troll
Nitpick as a hobby
He wasn’t speaking about patterns specifically but I think the two ideas work well together. If we see patterns in any of the above behaviors, that tells us what we need to know about who those people really are. (Though, I would add that we don’t need to see a pattern in number 8. When it comes to cheating and lying, believe people the first time.)
Sometimes, I think we make these types of judgements harder than they need to be. Either that, or we simply don’t want to accept the reality of the matter.
People tell us who they are through their patterns. We just need to pay attention.
