"Make Me Want To Hear You"

Photo by Drew Beamer on Unsplash

I’m not a big fan of the TV show, Shark Tank. It has too much of a contrived, over-the-top vibe to it with an extra helping of meanness served up by a couple of the “sharks”. I also don’t like it when entrepreneurs with good ideas give away too much of their company in return for, at least what I perceive as, too little in return. (You can chalk this off as the grumblings of a fellow, aging entrepreneur…)

My son, on the other hand, loves it, so all too often, it’s on when he gets the run of the remote. And try as I might, when it is on, it’s hard to avoid, which more often than not, finds me in front of the TV yelling “Don’t take the deal!” or “Say No!” or “Walk!”

At any rate, the other day, two entrepreneurs were on the show, pitching their venture. One by one, each shark opted out and, after the one remaining shark made what was a particularly ridiculous offer telling the partners “take it or leave it”, they left it. (Hooray!)

As they declined, though, the entrepreneurs lamented, “You really didn’t really listen to what we had to say”. To which one of the sharks responded with what I thought was a gem of a line:

“It’s not my job to listen to you, it’s your job to make me want to hear.”   

Profound - even from a contrived, over-the-top show that sometimes serves up an extra helping of meanness. I mean, that line was the philosophical equivalent of manna from heaven. 

See, one of the big complaints we have when things don’t go our way - and I’ve been guilty of this plenty of times - is to complain about how the other party didn’t listen to us, how they didn’t give us a fair shake. The contexts might vary - maybe we lost a deal, maybe we didn’t get the offer, maybe we couldn’t get our funding. But the response is usually pretty similar.

You know, if only they gave me the chance to make my case the way I wanted to! I wish they’d just listened carefully to my pitch! They should have looked at the appendix, the answers were right there!  

Maybe. Thing is, though, the onus isn’t on them. It’s on us. It always has been. 

If we want something they’re offering (or that we want them to offer), then it’s incumbent on us to make it worth their while. We need to make the case compelling. We need to do the work to make them want to hear us.

That’s not always easy, more often than not, it’s pretty damn hard. But we need to do it all the same. And there’s no shortage of strategies to help us do it.

Use simple language.

Clarify what’s in it for them.

Distill the central message.

Clearly demonstrate why the benefits are greater than the costs - simply!

Present your proof - simply and clearly.

Be creative in how you get the message across (don’t overdo it).

Be genuine in your intent.

Show your enthusiasm.

Engage.

And that’s just a starter for ten. 

The point is, we need to stop making excuses. We need to look at ourselves. And we need to do the work. 

If we want someone to listen, we need to make them want to hear.