What's Your Part In All Of This?

Image by Michael Gaida from Pixabay 

We’re in an age of division. Everything seems to be either one side or the other. Red or blue. Black or white. With us or against us. You can’t read or listen to the news without hearing about it. 

But while the social and political divisions in our discourse feel so much more pronounced these days, the fact is that this type of ‘one or the other’ mindset has been there all along, not least in our economic and personal lives. 

In those spheres, we use terms like Management versus Employee. We talk about how “they” want us to do things this way or how “they” won’t do as they’re told. It’s the same way in our relationships - when we don’t perceive ourselves as being part of the same team or feel we’re being forced to do things against our will. 

It’s natural to blame someone else - from our bosses or our employees, to our spouses or our children. 

If only they listened. If only they understood. If only they did as I said. 

It’s natural to do this, because, well, it’s easier to complain. Because then there’s a target for our ire, a focal point for why things aren’t going the way they should be. For why we’re not getting what we want. 

But it’s also natural because it’s comfortable, and it’s comfortable because it insulates us from taking responsibility for ourselves, for what we need to do. 

Because taking that responsibility would mean that we’d need to reckon with ourselves and all that we haven’t done, aren’t willing to do, aren’t willing to be. That’s a hard thing to do. I think I’d much rather point the finger. 

Thing is, when things go wrong, it’s rarely a one-sided issue. The causes are usually multi-faceted and there are many hands at play. Odds on, a couple of those hands are ours. 

It’s worth asking then, before we instinctively begin to point the finger, to ask what’s my part in all of this? What have I done to allow or encourage the situation? Could I have done something different? Should I be doing something different?

Because then, we’re in a position to begin to fix things. 

Or, if we really believe it's not salvageable, or we aren’t going to be listened to, or we don’t align with the mission at hand, we can then move on.