It’s About Healing, Not Fixing

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I’m generally wary of celebrities offering advice on the complexities of life, but Meghan Markle recently made an observation that I thought was particularly insightful. She was visiting a workshop at the Luminary Bakery in East London, which helps disadvantaged women and, in conversation, decried the culture of instant gratification that is so pervasive today. She observed that:

“...we aren’t mechanical objects that need to be fixed. You’re a wounded creature that needs to be healed, and that takes time.”

I think we forget that so much of the time, whether it comes to us or others. We’re so primed for the quick fix, the simple solution, that we lose sight of our complexity, emotional or otherwise. 

You see this in articles promoting the “6 steps to beat depression”, in podcasts that talk about “this specific supplement” is the key to optimal health, or in videos that highlight how “this one exercise” will revamp your entire body.  

What’s missing is the reality that our systems - both physical and psychological - are complex, interconnected, and interdependent. That “one thing” may well help something, but it’s unlikely to solve everything. 

And solving “everything” (to the extent that that is even possible) means deep thought, consistent work, multiple approaches, and managed expectations. It means being careful, thoughtful and kind with ourselves. It means giving ourselves time and accepting that there’s a journey that’s required - in fact, necessary - for the change to be sustainable and meaningful. 

The quick fixes, on the other hand, are like candy. They feel good for a little while, but they don’t result in any meaningful long-term impact.